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Truth
is powerful and inbodies those who seek it with an open mind. |
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EX-ABORTIONIST
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Prochoice
NO MORE: Judith Feltrow was upset when she learned
about Operation Rescue and Randy Terry and she decided
to become a volunteer for Planned Parenthood and to
take a job in a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic.
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a lone sidewalk counselor kept vigil and finally was
instrumental in bringing her both to Christ and into
the Pro-Life movement. I’ve spent six weeks struggling
with what I was going to say here today and it has been
a painful struggle that has continued to send me to
my knees. The preparation for this talk has made me
aware of my unhealed places. Abortion hurts. It leaves
scars. My abortion hurt me. The abortions I participated
in hurt. Prior to becoming a Christian, I worked for
Planned Parenthood in Hayword, California. I was probably
your worst nightmare. I was a radical feminist, a member
of the radical left. Although I was involved in the
pro-abortion movement for years, it was not until January,
1989 that I began as a volunteer for Planned Parenthood
in Fremont. In April of 1990 I was hired for a full-time
position with the clinic in Hayword. I was hired during
the interview because of my history of political activism
and my blind commitment to abortion. To understand Planned
Parenthood, and to love your enemy and pray for them
effectively, you must understand the women who work
there. We were dedicated – dedicated to women’s
right and dedicated to abortion. That dedication took
almost a bizarre, almost religious twist. The abortion
clinic was our church, abortion was the sacrament, the
babies were the sacrifice. I say the clinic was our
church because the clinic was where we truly worshipped
women’s rights and women’s reproductive freedom.
Reproductive freedom says to the woman, there are no
consequences, there is no sin. Abortion allegedly frees
women. This is one of the greatest lies of the feminist
agenda – that to be free, to be women, we must
be carbon copy men. We must be wombless. Abortion supposedly
redeems women by allowing them to recover their non-pregnant
status. Unfortunately the women end up paying a very
high price emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I often saw women who were injured emotionally by abortion.
However, my supervisor told me, "If she’s
having an a problem after her abortion, it is because
she was having a problem before her abortion."
This was a philosophy that I could not support. Additionally,
I could not reconcile that statement with the post abortion
counseling brochure that we had in each counseling room.
It struck me that blaming the woman, making the emotional
aftermath her fault, was perilously close to what batterers
do to their victims. We at Planned Parenthood cared
for women so much that we only charged $295.00 for twelve
post abortion counseling sessions. This was more than
we charged for an abortion, and it was an amount that
was readily accessible to most of Planned Parenthood’s
clients. It is difficult to work abortion for any length
of time and continue to believe that it is a safe procedure.
Even with the best doctors, abortion days are full of
minor and sometimes major complications. I watched [an
abortionist] perforate a woman’s uterus and then
lie about the severity of the perforation. He stated
that the perforation was caused by the canula, with
the machine off, when in fact the machine was on. This
is a much more serious and sometimes fatal complication.
We often had women come back with severe infections,
caused by retained tissue or incomplete abortions, especially
when training new doctors. The most horrifying complication
that I witnessed was a woman who stopped breathing during
the abortion. [The abortionist] just walked out of the
room when he was finished. Despite my telling him that
the client was not breathing, he left me alone with
her. When [the abortionist] was forced to return, he
didn’t even follow emergence protocol for that
situation. It was a miracle that woman didn’t die.
It is extremely difficult to watch doctors lie and clinic
workers cover it up. I would hear horrifying stories
of women being dragged out of clinics to die in cars
on the way to the hospital. I began to wonder if we
were really caring for these women or if we were just
working for another corporation whose only interest
was the bottom line. Despite what you may see among
the staff at the clinics, clinic workers have very mixed
feelings about abortion. Clinic workers may say they
support a woman’s right to choose, but they will
also say they do not want to see the tiny hands and
feet. They do not want to face the consequences of their
actions. Planned Parenthood workers talk about how seeing
the body parts is painful for them. Although workers
can be protected from seeing the babies’ butchered
bodies, there is no inoculation to make clinic workers
immune to the smell of blood that permeates the clinic
on killing days. Generally there is one clinic worker
in charge of the babies. At Hayword Planned Parenthood,
I was that clinic worker. I had to look at the babies.
I had to store them. No one at Planned Parenthood wanted
this job. I did not particularly want this job. However,
I did not want to see the babies treated disrespectfully.
This position put me fact to face with what abortion
is – the death of a tiny human being. I had to
look at tiny hands and feet. There were times when I
wanted to cry. In order to keep my sanity, I established
a personal mourning ritual. I sat Shiva for the babies.
I said the prayers for the dead. I also named each baby
when I placed them in the "contaminated waste"
container. There were days when I would go home and
think "You know, maybe this isn’t right."
When I started at Planned Parenthood I say two types
of women working at the clinic. One group were women
who had found some way to deal with the emotional and
spiritual toll of working abortion. The second group
where women who had closed themselves emotionally. They
were the walking wounded. You could look into their
eyes and see that they were emotionally dead, not available
for themselves or for anyone else. I resolved that I
would not become one of the walking wounded. I would
not shut myself off from what we did. This meant that
I had to admit to myself that life began at conception,
and that what we did was murder. In the end, that stand
literally paved the way for my salvation. Nevertheless,
working abortion left a scar on my soul and I still
pay a price in muted feelings and emotional detachment.
Fortunately, God sent one pro-life activist to sidewalk
counsel on a day when we were not doing abortions. This
man did not judge me, his did not condemn me. In fact,
he was friendly to me. He told me his name and asked
me my name. He talked to me about how cold he was standing
out in front of the clinic in shorts. He gave me a tape
by Carol Everett. He invited me to go to church with
him and when I said no he invited me to have coffee
with him. He was persistently friendly. And although
Steve did not condone my sin, he offered me unconditional
acceptance. It took some time. It took enormous dedication
and it took the patience of a saint. But over several
weeks we developed a friendship across lines based on
trust. He also asked the people in his community to
pray and they did. They stormed the gates of hell for
my salvation and those gates began to crumble. I saw
a love in those people that I had never experienced
and I wanted that love. God took a heart of stone and
began to turn it into a heart of flesh. Planned Parenthood
would like for pro-lifers to be so intimidated that
we leave them alone. They will use lies, lawsuits, restraining
orders, injunctions and other tactics to keep us away
from their clinics. They do this because a pro-life
presence is so effective in front of clinic. We are
bad for business. We are also bad for the turnover among
the staff. Planned Parenthood volunteers escorts and
staff have been instructed not to speak to the pro-life
Christians. They have been told this because too many
staff and volunteers have been hearing the truth and
repenting. Planned Parenthood’s mission statement
reads: "Planned Parenthood believes that all individuals
have the fundamental right to manage their own fertility
and that reproductive self-determination must be voluntary
and private. Further Planned Parenthood believes that
such self-determination enhances the quality of life,
strength, family relationships and contributes to population
stability." Planned Parenthood claims to be committed
to the highest standards of ethical and professional
conduct. However, most Planned Parenthood clinics are
located in economically marginalized neighborhoods.
They are continuing Margaret Sanger’s planned eugenics
cleansing. Whether it is conscious or unconscious, Planned
Parenthood is killing minorities with the blessing of
the liberal left. It is a coerced self-determination
at best. At worst it is genocide – the systematic
killing of racial, political and cultural groups. God
will not allow this to continue. What he asks of us
is obedience and an unwavering commitment to Him. |
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